As an artist, I try and keep my work light and full of wonder. I aim to make you curious about what’s just over the horizon; to try to make you excited about finding out. I hope I succeed with that through my art. But art is used to show many things. Another use of art that I’m fond of is helping people glimpse into a world that they might never otherwise see into. Whether that’s a happy or sad world.
That brings me to this blog’ topic. My mum and disability.
As a young woman, she was insanely active. She went walking for miles as often as she could. She loved climbing moutains and has climbed every single highest peak in mainland UK. She’s climbed Snowdon (the highest mountain in Wales) over 40 times, maybe more. She spent most of her childhood swimming and running and she grew up healthy and fit, despite the chronic athsma she’d battled since birth.
She trained to be mechanic, having worked in a scrap yard and multiple garages for years. One of her biggest passions is being under the bonnet of a car and tinkering until the sun comes up, possibly several times. Her life revolved around being outside and doing things that involve being outside. I could go on forever about how active her life was. The main point is that she loved it. She still does.
Then she had a DVT. A DVT stands for Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is a blood clot that develops within a deep vein in the body. It’s more common in the leg but it can appear anywhere. She had a few in her leg and one in her arm that all came and went. We worried about them, of course, but they weren’t much cause for concern in comparison to what she ended up going through.
Until she got the final one in her leg. Her leg swelled and went purple due to the clot. Without us knowing, it moved through her body until it reached her heart. It tore through her heart, tearing a valve as it forced its way through, 
exploding into both of her lungs. The doctors told her that it was impossible to count them all, there were too many of them. That was 6-7 years ago and since then she’s had two more large ones in her lungs.
Mum’s been back and forth from her GP for years now. She seems to come out with another thing wrong everytime she leaves. She’s got; Osteoporosis (a dangerous weakening of the bones), Psoriasis (which covers everywhere except her feet, hands and face), Psoriatic Arthritis, Anemia, and a lack of B12. I’m sure there’s more. All of this without mentioning her heart murmur and difficulty breathing due to the severe damage her lungs have been through.
Because of this, she uses a wheelchair most of the time. This broke her. She has always been super independant and so headstrong. She doesn’t let it show, but it still gets her down more times than she’d ever let people see.
I knew about how it made her feel, but we had a chat so I could try and get more of the full picture. Then I drew it. I tried to capture how trapped she felt. With her looking over a wall, unable to do the things she loves to do. Unable to do the things she dreams of one day doing again. Feeling trapped as she watches other people do the things she’d rather be doing more than anything else. I wanted her to feel heard and understood.
I showed my mum when I finished. She was moved and spent ages studying it. She loved it so much, she posted it onto her Facebook before I’d had the chance to upload it. A couple of people have also told me that it resonates with them too. That makes me happy because as an artist, I always want to help people feel understood.
It breaks my heart, though. Some of my fondest memories are me and her walking or cycling, just talking and being outdoors together. While I’m glad that the artwork resonated with her, I’m sad that it did too.
We all hope that she’ll be fit enough one day to do the things she loves doing. Hopefully, there’s some things the doctors can do to make the pain more manageable. That being said, it’s not like her health buckling has ever stopped 
her trying anyway.
I love you so much mum, and we will get you back up over that wall. Even if we have to build you a jetpack to get there.
She can be found at Emma Chantelle
Cerys